Sometimes...
I revel. In the supreme joy that comes from being with you, holding hands, hugging, kissing, even in peaceful and prolonged silence. In the knowledge that I have found the love of my life, my soul mate, my heart's desire. In the vision of my future, once murky, now as clear as starlight piercing the vast darkness of space.
Sometimes...
I cry. In gut-wrenching anguish from missing you, at the frantic craving of my arms wanting to be around you, my lips to yours, your heartbeat inside my chest. In the days that slowly drag by in between seeing you, feeling a lifetime's worth of pain in every week. In desperate panic at finding you so late in life (ohGodhelpmeIhavesolittletimelefttoloveyoubeforeIdie). In the slow suspension of hours without you, excruciating minutes where I am incomplete; vapor; a ghost; merely an idea of a man that is waiting to materialize.
Sometimes. Just sometimes.
-- for Susan Macdonald
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